Finders Keepers
by Emerald Padparadscha
Summary: Mordecai was sure Hell asked Lilith to babysit sometimes.
1. Prologue

**Title:** Finders Keepers

 **By:** _Emerald Padparadscha_

* * *

Roland looked up as a disheveled, slag-covered, yet still familiar Siren walked into the strategy room of the Crimson Raiders. Lilith tended to end up in some rather odd and, admittedly, awkward situations due to the unpredictability of her powers. While her condition wasn't too disconcerting - she looked otherwise fine - he was curious. "Anything I should know about?"

Unimpressed was an understatement for the look she gave him. She brushed back her bangs, the fine coating of purple sludge giving it an oily look. "Has Mordecai ECHO'd you in the past couple of hours?"

He frowned. "This has something to do with you being covered in slag, doesn't it?"

As expected, she launched into her explanation aka alibi. "I was filling him in on the new Vault Hunters, and he was telling me about this Hyperion convoy -"

"Hyperion convoy?"

"Yes. Hyperion convoy." She repeated. "It's supposed to pass close to the Tundra Express on their way to the Highlands, I think." She put her hand on her hip. "I tried to teleport back to save some time. Instead, I ended up in the Arid Badlands."

Roland motioned to the slag. "And, in a slag pool. Obviously."

"Obviously." She tried to sound casual about it. "Anyway, when I teleported, it felt like something else was in the phaseblast with me."

He sighed. "Lilith, are you telling me -"

"- remember how we used to -"

"- Mordecai could literally be anywhere -"

"- he wasn't in the Arid Plains." She said. "So it's not on the ANYWHERE list."

"Mordecai." Roland already had his ECHO out. "Mordecai, answer me." The only thing that came across the line was static. Two more tries yielded the same result.

"I'm sure everything's fine!" Lilith sounded as believable a she usually did in these situations. "Just because I ended up in a pile of slag doesn't mean he did, too. There are worse -" The look Roland shot her redirected her words pretty well. "- and better places he could be!"

Elsewhere, in The Dust...

The sun was about the brightest and yellowest he'd ever seen it, especially given he usually went way out of his way to not look directly at it. Or, indirectly, for that matter. It was hard not to when Sirens go teleporting you out into the middle fo nowhere and you wake up flat on your back.

"Next time," Mordecai groaned, sitting up and readjusting his goggles over his eyes. "I'm taking the bus." He stood, brushing the sand from his clothes as his vision cleared. The sand dunes, brown cliffs, and hard-packed trails driven by technicals and and runners were uncomfortably familiar.

He wouldn't be surprised if Hell asked Lilith to babysit sometimes.


	2. Story

Maya sat with one foot propped up on the tailgate of the technical, her hand shielding most of the sun's glare from her eyes. The occasional spiderant would dig its way up through the soft desert soil. She spotted one, and Phaselock had it solidly in it's grasp shortly thereafter.

"Three...four...five..." She smired, counting the seconds. The Phaselock started to grow visibly unstable, the tension holding the bubble being to ripple. She raised her sniper rifle, her gaze focused down the scope. "...six...seven...eight..."

Zero stood along a ridgeline not too far away, mentally counting the seconds with her before her Maliwan put an incendiary round straight through the creature's thorax. Maya didn't boast the skills he, Axton, or Salvador did. Krieg was in a league of his own, and Gaige was already a scientific genius. All the same, her growing powers gave her an edge that couldn't be denied by anyone, and she was learning fast.

["Any signs of his Mordecai guy?"] Her voice came over his ECHO. He glanced back out over the barren wastes.

All the blue-haired woman could see from her locale was the Number's silhoette agains the sky. Within moments, not even that much. It'd been a pretty good vantage point, however hot he'd had to have been in that armor. Even during the heat of the day, buzzards rarely flew. Maya put her rifle away and took a drink from her canteen.

They didn't even know for sure if the guy Lilith and Roland were talking about was actually here in The Dust. Roland had sounded like he could be anywhere at this point. They couldn't discount it, though. Krieg and Giage were doing something for Lilith out in Frostburn Crevice, and Axton and Salvador were somewhere in The Fridge. Ellie had them working out here on some menial jobs. Still, they had some pretty good areas covered.

After all this was done, Maya was looking forward to getting out of The Dust altogether.

Zero appeared out of Deception next to their technical. Maya had gotten to where she didn't so much as flinch when he did that anymore. "The desert scorches. He would know to find shelter. We should also go."

"Not going to argue there." She climbed into the passenger seat while he settled into the position of driving.

Maya watched the sky as they drove, more for the occasional buzzard than anything. It wasn't until she thought she saw a rakk in the distance that she wondered if she'd been out here in the heat too long.

Elsewhere...

Mordecai sat against a shadowed outcropping of rock, not for the first time wishing he'd carried more water with him. Despite what most people probably thought - and not without reason - his canteen wasn't full of some kind of booze. The water inside was usually reserved for Bloodwing. Considering she wasn't here, he sipped on it occasionally, though it was hardly enough to keep his throat from drying out.

He'd dropped a few small spiderants so far. They were pretty nasty, but at least they'd sustain him until he could find a bandit hole or something. Bandits were like skags around here - they literally dug camps out of the cliffs, and were EVERYWEHRE.

Though Roland and Lilith's sudden and prolongued disappearances and constant arguments were making a lot more sense.

* * *

What she'd seen DEFINITELY hadn't been a rakk. Rakks didn't have wild, dagger-like gazes or a serrated beak that looked like it could tear someone limb from limb.

It'd taken them just before nightfall to reach Ellie's Junkyard, but before they had been able to use the Fast Travel, one of the ugliest avians Maya could remember having ever seen swooped down and landed on top of the station itself. Even if it wasn't acting it, it looked dangerous enough Maya had her hand on her pistol in a matter of seconds.

Zero's lightly synthesized voice paused her hand. "It is a bloodwing. They are hard to tame and yet..." He pointed. "I see a collar."

Maya looked at the collar. Something Roland had mentioned came to mind. "Didn't Roland say there might be a bloodwing with Mordecai?"

* * *

Women. They were going to be the end of him someday. He was sure of it.

Mordecai had come to the conclusion sometime after Moxxi, after Lilith had broken up with Roland, and a little before now. Bloodwing was the only girl for him. She watched his back, and he watched hers. Women were trouble. Sirens could be worse. He knew he only had two to go on, but with only 6 in the known universe, that was good enough. Steele had been power hungry, and Lilith's ethics and morals were randomized on a good day.

The fatigue was fueling his mental rambling on his love/hate relationship with ever woman he's ever met, but he could also blame the sand in places he didn't want to think about.

The sound of a technical in the distance had him pressing up against some rocks nearby. The Jakobs revolver in his hand only had a few rounds in it. It'd been the only gun he'd found when he'd dusted all the sand and dirt off. He really needed it to live up to it's name right now.

* * *

Almost as soon as Maya had sent the message in to base they'd found a bloodwing with a collar, Roland sent one back telling them to go and check out the bandit caves in the area. There were plenty of them around. If Bloodwing was there, Mordecai had to be close.

Finding the first set of caves had been easy, but hardly fruitful. The few marauders found inside were easily ambushed, and the loot had been lousy.

The second, on the other hand...

Maya wouldn't have even noticed it if not for the digitized sawlbade as it clipped the top edge of the turret seat. A second connected with the passenger side, ricocheting off the armour plating. Another technical, coloured with rust and bandit warpaint, nearly power-slid into them when it burst from a ramp leading out of a cave. The roar of an overworked engine drowned out the one of the second vehicle coming up around beind them.

She gripped the bars of the frame as Zero took a tigher hold on the wheel.

* * *

Mordecai pulled himself to the top of a boulder in time to see two technicals send a third into flames. Bandits of all kinds were known for their in-fighting, so this wasn't a surprise. The now scrapped vehicle wasn't going to be good for much other than a skag chew toy.

The familiar sound of a sniper rifle rang in his ears. The front end of the closest technical splattered with corrosive.

"Heh. So much for that car." He laughed lightly. Maybe, when they were done, there woudl be enough left to piece together somethign to drive with. Probably not, but he was going to be hopeful about it. A couple more shots like that and the acid wouldn't leave much left of anything under the hood.

The Truxican turned his gaze up when the sound of flapping reached his ears. He smiled, holding up his arm. Bloodwing eased out of her lazy circles and perched on the offered appendage, biting at a vault symbol he wore on his upper sleeve.

A blue glow in the distance drew his attention back to the fight. One of the driver's was ripped up from his seat, screaming as he burst into flames while the vehicle crashed into the cliff nearby.

"Either Lilith's got a new crazy-ass power, or those are the Vault Hunters she told us about." He said to the bird, scratcing her along the feathers of her neck.

"Good job, Blood."

* * *

Maya couldn't seem to get a Phaselock on the driver of the other technical from where she was. There weren't that many - maybe three total in the last vehicle - but the explosion from their own technical earlier had depleted her shield and did some massive bruising along her left arm. The rocks scattered around offered little protection whiel she waited for her Pangolin to recharge

Zero had taken placed himself on the other side of her as the remaining technical circled. His shield absorbed the bullets that managed to make it to them.

She could see it wasn't going to last much longer. The shield itself was already showing a warning of an imminent failure.

When she felt the surge of her own shield finally charge back up, Zero's broke, and he entered immediately into Deception. Maya semi-aimed her SMG, spraying the technical as it passed by. She didn't know if she'd did any damage. It also didn't matter. The flash of a digistructed blade could be seen from the cab. The car came to a stop, and Zero materialized, kicking the corpse of the driver from it.

A holographic smiley face appeared. "We have a new car. I suggest we trade it in. The seat is sticky."

Maya smiled, about to reply. Instead, she turned and looked at the bandit shoving debris off of him as he crawled out from under the wreckage of the technical she'd disabled. He didn't even have time to raise his gun before the bloodwing from earlier swooped down and removed his healmet.

And head.

The body fell to the ground. Bloodwing shrieked and flew over to land on her owner's shoulder. Mordecai smiled. "A sticky seat sounds pretty good right about now."


	3. Epilogue

The first thing Mordecai noticed was how hard his head was protesting his late night celebrating. The second thing was how less comfortable his cot was than it seemed when he'd initially passed out on it. Granted, he only just barely remembered doing that.

Bloodwing's form could be made out by their roost's exit. She was busy ripping noisily into the meaty carcass of some young varkid, her sharp beak stained a greenish-yellow. If he'd had a weaker stomach, he might've lost it then. It reminded him of what he'd had to try and sustain himself on far too recently.

Honestly, he'd tasted worse booze, though the trick to a bad drink was to gulp it quick. There wasn't any gulping a spiderant down fast.

The ECHO laying on the floor next to him was flashing. Lots of missed contacts and messages. Before he and Bloodwing had gone for the Hyperion convoy passing by, Roland had mentioned something about some Vault Hunters heading out this way. They had six new ones now., four he hadn't even met.

Or the messages could all still be Lilith trying to convince him that the whole teleportation thing hadn't actually somehow been all her fault. In her own, very Lilith way, it was a vague, miscommunicated apology, but DAMN if he absolutely didn't want anything to do with Sirens for a long time after this.

The distant roar from one of the Tundra Express's upright flamethrowers had Bloodswing shrieking from her prize, taking off to the outside. Mordecai clutched for a bottle of Rakk Ale by his bed and pushed himself to his feet. The last pendejo to try this had been Roland. This had their esteemed leader written all over it.

Adjusting his goggles, he jumped out of the tower and into the sunlight. "So loud. So angry." He took another drink, long and deep, emptying the bottle of it's contents. The trick to bad alcohol...was to down it fast. "So dead."

 _ **-FIN-**_


End file.
